Interview Madness
by RetardedFool
Summary: Interview Madness, inspired by Interview Hell from Black Tornado. Join us, in interviewing the characters of the MGLN again! The thing is that, they still have the phobia of interviews. Enjoy! stalled!
1. Interview I

**Note to be taken: **I do this fic solely because I was inspired by the one and only, legendary interviewer, Black Tornado!(clap clap clap clap clap!!) It may be a good idea to read Interview Hell before reading this, because in this case, the people that have been interviewed by BT himself are being invited here to be interviewed by me. Hope you enjoy this interview fic, because if you don't, a Starlight Breaker will be find its target on me!(AAAAAHHH!!)

Disclaimer: Why would I want to own MGLN if there is a spell called Starlight Breaker that annihilates everything in its path?

_**Interview 1**_

RF: Hi! I'm pleased to have you join us in Interview Madness, the interview fanfic inspired by Interview Hell done by Black Tornado. I'm your host RetardedFool.

_Some applauses and a few-wait-more boos coming from the audience. A cream pie was thrown at Retardedfool's face._

_RF pulls the pie from his face and we could see him grinning away, he must be a masochist!_

RF: My, what a warm welcome. Thanks for the pie! Anyway, we have a guest for today's interview. Like BT had said, he's been slowly been phased out of the series until he only makes cameo appearance. He is also the guy who taught the ace of aces magic at a young, tender age of nine and he's been named the 'perverted beast' by almost everyone and hunted down by a whole lot more, which we might prove later, please give a round of applauses for Yūno Scrya!

_A door opens and in walked a dashing young man with blond hair and sat down onto the seat opposite of RF. Fangirls begin screaming and cheering for Yūno's name. Wow! They survived the ordeals of both Interview Hell and Interview Chaos. Fangirls are tough..._

RF: Yūno Scrya, am I right?

Yuno: That's who I am.

_Yuno turns to the fangirls and smiled. All of the fangirls squeal in delight and some even faint on the spot. Somebody call the medic please! Or a cleaner! Either is fine!_

RF: why aren't you in the ferret form like when you were in Interview Hell?

Yuno: I don't want to disappoint the fans that have been supporting me all the time.

_The remaining fangirls giggle at Yuno's comment._

RF: I...see. Where's Vivio? Did you not bring her along with you?

_The fangirls turn and glare at RF. Erm...RF, maybe you will like to run away after the show._

RF: sure! Thank you _very much_, commentator. Anyway, the question.

Yuno: nope, her parents wouldn't let me near their daughter and threatened to blast me with everything they've got.

_Is it me or is Yuno sweating in an air-conditioned room?_

RF: O...k. Now to the next question, the most widely asked question from Interview Hell.

Yuno: if you are going to ask why am I being called the 'perverted animal'. My answer is 'No! I resent that!'. You have seen in Interview Hell. Did I do anything perverted?

_Is it me again or is it that Yuno is sweating even more?_

RF: true. But many people still don't believe in you.....hey! Shouldn't I be the one asking question?

Yuno: there's no such rule that only interviewers are allowed to ask questions.

_RF turns to the cameraman beside him and whispers._

RF: why does this person I interview be _that _smart?

Cameraman: How the hell would I know? I didn't create him.

RF: great! thank you_ so_ much, Jut!

Cameraman: get back to your damn interview!

Yuno: is anything wrong?

_RF snapped back._

RF: No! Nothing is wrong! Don't worry about it!

_Yuno raised an eyebrow._

RF: next question. Do you prefer to be in human form or ferret form?

Yuno: I personally like to be in the ferret form.

RF: why is that so?

Yuno: it does not really limit my magic too much, so it's pretty convenient for me.

RF: really? And the height advantage gives you the privilege to look up into Nanoha's upskirts?

_Yuno turns red. Reminds me of a cooked lobster._

Yuno: Ye-...I mean...NO! that is never the case!

RF: I suppose that Fate and the rest of Nanoha's fans will believe you?

Yuno:....

_Yuno turned pale._

Yuno: erm....is this interview studio safe from attacks?

RF: why?

_The front suddenly burst in. An angry mob rush in baring all sort of weapons._

Mobster 1: Burn him!

Mobster 2: Crucify him!

Mobster 3: Castrate the beast!

RF: Ouch! The last one sound painful.

Yuno: help me!

_RF turns to the cameraman._

RF: Jut, indulge yourself.

Cameraman: what will you pay me with?

RF: how about a set of hentai doujinshi?

Cameraman: deal!

_The Cameraman pulls a scythe from his back back pocket and begin hacking the mob. Wait a sec, how on earth did he even stuff that thing there?_

Cameraman: it's trade secret.

_Fine then, I won't want to know anyway._

Yuno: what are we going to do?

RF: hell if I know! Can't you help with your defensive magic?

Yuno: I would if I could!

_Some of the mob broke through the Cameraman's defense and rush to the stage. RF begin to panic._

RF: WHY?!

Yuno: I used up most of my magic before I came.

RF: WHAT DID YOU DO?! TRAINING WITH NANOHA AGAIN?! WHAT DID I DO TO GET THIS?!

Yuno: NO! She was trying to blast me as I was on my way here!

Mob: Kill the beast along with the interviewer!

_The mob continue to be hacked down one by one by the Cameraman. Most of the unfortunate audiences were caught in the meat shredding machine as well. One of the remaining mobsters reaches the stage and grabs RF's legs._

RF: damn you!

_RF grabs his clipboard and begin pounding the guy into a bloody mess with it before chucking him to the meat shredder in front of him._

_Yuno had changed into his ferret form and is hiding under the coffee table._

Yuno: first BT uses a chair, now you are here using a clipboard!

_The mob is soon cleared away by the scythe wielding, meat shredding Cameraman. A large group of cleaners rush in to wash up the mess in the studio._

_RF sits down onto his chair. A staff shakily hands him a new clipboard that was made of metal and looks too thick and too heavy to be a clipboard. The dented old clipboard was thrown away into the burning chute._

RF: well, beside a chair, an interviewer has another weapon called a clipboard.

Yuno: doesn't look reliable to me.

RF: wanna give it a try?

Yuno: erm....no thanks. At least AquaKaede uses magic to help herself.

* * *

_somewhere in the god-know-where, Chrono slammed his fist onto the table_

Chrono: almost got him.

Fate: Nii-chan, don't worry, we will get a whole lot more chances to get him.

Chrono: fine then, we'll get cook him as soon as we catch him.

_Chrono began laughing maniacally as Fate was holding a tobacco sauce in her right hand. Anyone want to have a hot smoking fried ferret?

* * *

_

_studio_

RF: did you hear that?

Cameraman, Yuno: hear what?

RF: a mad guy was laughing away.

Yuno: must be Chrono.

RF: Chrono? Is he here?

Yuno: nope. He's all the way at Mid-Childa

RF: why can I hear him from here?

Yuno: you must have attained the ability of hearing anything far away from BT.

RF: oh. I must thank him for this.

Yuno: is this show still going?

RF: oh of course it is. A few of these troublemakers won't be enough to stop the show.

Yuno: you call this a few?

RF: well, it's better than having cops with tazers running you down in a car.

Yuno: good point.

RF: anyway, to the next question. The magazines in in Interview Hell and blog site in Interview Chaos, what are your opinion for those cases that had framed you?

Yuno: Chrono always had a bad joke or two up his sleeves. I wouldn't be surprised if this ordeal is in his plan.

RF: why will he want to do this?

Yuno: who knows. Maybe he hates me?

RF: I see.

_RF flips a paper over the clipboard. He eyes widen dramatically. RF, did you see anything wrong?_

RF: let's see, this report was given to me, saying that you had taken a picture of Nanoha and Fate making out in the bathroom when they are showering together. Is that true?

_Yuno paled..._

Yuno: wh-what picture?

RF: this.

_RF holds out a photo of Nanoha and Fate kissing. The picture was taken through the slightly ajar door in an awkward angle._

Yuno: how did you get-...on shit!

RF: since you have admitted yourself unknowingly, I'll take it as a truth.

_Yuno paled....wait! He's turning into a human made of paper! Somebody paint him with some colours, any colours!_

RF: well?

Yuno: Erm...it's kind of.....I slipped. Yes, that's right, I slipped.

RF: you slipped?

Yuno: yes, I had wanted to take picture of Nanoha sleeping with Fate when I slipped-.....Oh shit!!

RF: you have gotten yourself into a deeper trouble than I thought.

Yuno: who gave you the report?

RF: no name stated. Who else knows about this?

Yuno: Only the three of us know about it!

* * *

_In a corner of Nanoha's and Fate's bedroom._

Fate: Heh heh heh! That's for not wanting to sell the photo to me. Now feel the wrath of the White Devil.

_How fortunate that I'm not Yuno._

Fate: you are already fortunate to be a commentator, commentator.

_I'll take that as a compliment._

Fate: you are welcome. Say, how about you work for me?

_No thanks, I'm pretty contented with my current job._

Fate: fine then, I won't bug you, but the place is always free if you ever change your mind.

_I'll note that down.

* * *

_

RF: there's a high chance that one of you took this to me.

Yuno: are you suspecting me?

Voice: YU. NO. SC. RYA

Yuno: EEP!

RF: I have nothing to do with this!

_A shroud of blue and white landed in between RF and Yuno. Here it is! The White Devil! Everybody run for your life!_

Nanoha: Quiet!

_.........._

Nanoha: Good. Now Scrya, how are you going to beg for your life.

RF: Erm...Nanoha? I know that you have an invitation from me, bu-

_Nanoha shot RF a death glare. RF, I don't think you should be saying anything right now._

Nanoha: I said quiet didn't I, commentator.

_.........._

Nanoha: what were you trying to say, RF? If you are going to defend him, you will have to eat my Divine Buster as breakfast.

RF: er...no! I was about to tell you that I've caught him. So, he's all yours now.

Yuno: NO! SAVE ME!

RF: later!

_RF ran out of the door and bolted it shut. RF, I pity anyone who take you in as a friend._

RF: I will like to see you try negotiate with her.

_No thanks._

Cameraman: hey retard!

RF: where the hell have you been?!

Cameraman: oh, I've went to clean myself up.

_RF, are we going to end this now?_

RF: oh! Right! This chapter is coming to an end, since the White Devil is currently having a 'business discussion' with Yuno. In the next episode, we will be interviewing the familiar of the mighty Lightning Mage, Arf. Stay tuned for the next interview. Hopefully, no one dies in it.....

Nanoha: Starlight...

_All of the staffs cleared the buildings in the matter of seconds. They have broken the Guinness World Record in evacuating a building structure!_

Nanoha: Breaker!!!

_The building crumbled as a huge pink beam blasted upwards. Has Yuno escaped the blast or is he the small dot in centre of the projectile?_

Cameraman: I told you to get a stronger building.

RF: I would if I could! The sponsors are too stingy to give me any money! And I'm definitely going to get a earful from the insurance company.

* * *

Author's ranting: Interview Madness, in the air! Feel free to ask any question for the next interview, and you might stand a chance to become one of our favourite questioners. Also, if you want to meet any other characters of MGLN(beside Nanoha, the White Devil) for the upcoming chapters, feel free to ask. This is RetardedFool, signing off.


	2. Interview II

**Note to be taken: **As I said, this is inspired by Black Tornado.

Disclaimer: Arf will hunt me down if I own Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha!!

_**Interview 2**_

RF: Welcome to the show of Interview Madness, this is your host RF speaking.

_The crowd claps loudly at the entrance of RF, the one and only interviewer in the whole Interview Madness project stu-brave enough to interview the amazing characters of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha. Some of the fans are holding a huge banner of Arf in her adult form winking and giving a peace sign. I pity the audiences stuck behind the banner. More smaller banners of "I love Arf-chan" and the chantings of "Arf-chan" can be heard throughout the brand new studio. RF chuckles and waves to quieten the crowd._

RF: like Yunno the ferret, this guest has been slowly been phased out of the show as well, until she's only making cameo appearance. Her huge loli fanbase had tried again and again but failed to bring her out from Interview Hell. She seemed to be tamed by BT after joining him in his show. And she is still over-protective towards her master, as recent news had reported that a beautiful woman with an auburn hair slaughtering fans that were trying to get signatures from Fate. Let us welcome....

_The sound of drums rolling fills the air._

RF: …..the one and only familiar trusted by the almighty Black Lightning Mage.....

_The sound of drum rolling continues to fill the air. Somebody from the audiences behind the cameraman throw a brick at the drummer._

RF: Arf!

_The crowd goes wild as the door for the guests opens and in walks a stunning lady with a long auburn hair, dog ears and a fluffy tail. The crowd goes even wilder when the woman winks at them and blows kisses. Some of them are head-butting one another to the point when they drop dead from excessive blood lost. I'm going to die having a heavy nosebleed! At least I die a happy soul._

RF: welcome to our show Interview Madness.

Arf: I've heard of you RetardedFool. It's a pleasure to meet you in person.

RF: I'm honoured.

_They shake hands before sitting down to their respective chair. RF pull a thick, heavy piece of titanium alloy from the ground and set it on his lap._

Arf: Er...what is that?

RF: huh?

Arf: that.

_Points at the titanium alloy on RF's lap. RF looks down onto his lap._

RF: Oh! This?

_Arf nods._

RF: it's a clipboard.

Arf: is there a clipboard this thick?

RF: it's custom-made. I got it done before I start this show, as a precaution.

Arf: I see...

RF: let's start with our questions, shall we?

Arf: I'm ready when you are.

RF: alright, that's the spirit! Here's a question from our first questioner since the beginning of this show, AquaKaede.

Arf: AquaKaede. I've heard of her as well.

RF: yes that's right. We once asked questions along with Major Mike Powell III.

Arf: I see. So what's the question?

RF: right. Let's see. Her question is "What you feeling at Nanoha? since she had held Fate attention almost 24/7 since she was nine?"

Arf: well, I'm jealous of course.

_The audiences gasp. This is the first time Arf confessed her jealousy against Nanoha. Arf, I must say, you are brave._

RF: wow! You sure are daring to say this.

Arf: it's the truth. But after seeing her battle alongside with Fate, I feel relieved.

_The audiences sigh in relief. At least they don't have to face to wrath of the White Devil along with Arf, for now._

RF: why is that so?

Arf: well, i can't deny that she's strong. In fact, I feel assured to have her by Fate's side.

RF: ah....the Whit Devil is being praised. Nanoha! Are you watching? If you are, you should be proud of yourself!

* * *

_Somewhere in TSAB Six-Division base_

Nanoha: Fate~.

_Nanoha glomps Fate a little too hard for comfort._

Fate: Na-Nanoha?

Nanoha: Arf is praising me. Shall I give both of you some rewards?

_Before Fate replies Nanoha carries her bridal style and ran into their bedroom. The door closes and soon, strange sounds can be heard. Let's not ask what's happening in that room.

* * *

_

_back to studio_

RF: I swear I am hearing something!

Cameraman: get back to your damn interview, retard!

RF: shut up, paedophile!

Arf: Er....is something wrong?

RF: nothing is wrong, he's just crazy sometimes.

Arf: oh. May I ask if that is the reason you personally asked me to come in my adult form?

RF: yeah, that's right. Never mind about that, let's continue to the next question from AquaKaede as well.

Arf: okay.

_A postman bursts into the studio, walks up to RF and hands him a package. Is it me or is the package shaped as a ferret? Wait! Is it twitching??_

Postman: Mister RF.

RF: Yes? Can't you see that I'm having an interview here?

Postman: Mister RF, this was ordered to be delivered to you right this instant.

RF: who can this be from?

Postman: oh yes! Can I have you autograph Miss Arf?

RF: hey hey! Do that later!

Postman: please!

_The postman kneels on the stage and begs. O...k! The fans don't look too happy. I can see many are holding something meant to be buried into the postman's body._

Postman: please! This is once in a life time for me!

RF: get out! Don't you have more work to do?

Postman: please! I beg of you!

_The postman flies forward and hugs Arf's hips. From here I can see RF's vein threatening to pop._

Postman: please. Can't you do this for the old me? (cuddles deeper in Arf's lap)

RF: that does it!

_RF peels the postman off Arf's lap as if he is peeling a chewing gum off the wall and starts pounding the poor postman with his newly acquired clipboard. Oh Yeah! First, a chair! Now, the interviewer's second best weapon is in the action! A clipboard!_

_After 5 minutes of pounding, RF drags the mashed up postman out to the garbage disposal chute and stuffs the poor guy into it. He poured a large can of gasoline onto the wasted sack of meat and threw a lighted matchstick into the chute before slamming it shut. Man! You are a sadist, RF!_

RF: (sits down) sorry about this. Am I scaring you?

_A staff walks in quickly, took RF's clipboard that is bent beyond recognition, shakily hands him a new one, and runs out on the instant when the clipboard is in RF's hands_

Arf: nope. This is considered mild compared to the tortures done by Nanoha.

RF: I don't want to ask about the details. Anyway, what is this?

_RF opens the piece of folded paper attached to the package._

RF: To RetardedFool: "This present is meant to be given to Arf. Since she praised me, I have a feeling that I must reward her for her open-heartedness." from Nanoha. Nanoha gave you a present, Arf.

Arf: what is it?

RF: I don't know. It shapes like an animal to me.

_Arf unwraps the package. When she is half-way done, a brown ferret pops out from the paper wrappings and lands on Arf's lap. What the hell?!_

Arf: Yuno!

RF: what the heck are you doing here? Didn't you get blasted by Nanoha at the end of the last show?

Yuno: I did, but I miraculously survived, guess I inherited the indestructibility from BT. By the way, where am I?

RF: in a studio where I'm interviewing Arf now.

Arf: what happened to you? Why are you wrapped up like this?

Yuno: Fate grabbed me when I was running around and wrapped me up like this.

RF: count yourself lucky that she didn't skewer you with Bardiche's Plasma Zamber Breaker or Trident Smasher.

Yuno:…

Everyone:...

Yuno: good point.

RF: glad you know it. Now sit there and don't move.

_RF points at the new chair that was brought out from the back stage. Yuno complies and climbs onto it quietly._

RF: now, let's us continue.

Arf: sure.

RF: The second question from AquaKaede is "what you feeling 'again' at Caro and Erio since they also held Fate attention the most?" what will be your answer for this?

Arf: I can't say that I have anything against them. But their constant tagging along with Fate recently is starting to bother me....

_Black flames begin to engulf Arf, who is smiling innocently. Not a good sign!! Erm...everybody? I think it will be a good idea to back away!_

RF: okay, I get the idea. Let's go to the next question.

_The black flames dispersed. Phew! That was pretty much unexpected._

_RF reads the question, and he's beginning to look confused.  
_

RF: it looks more like a request than a question, but I have no idea who is it for.

Arf: try asking, maybe it's meant for me.

RF: Ok, here goes. "And lastly, please spare the ferret, I still need him for my next interview, AK."

Cameraman: I think it's meant for you, fool.

Yuno: what does this have to do with me?

RF: how would I know? Did anything happened during the interview session between you and AK?

Yuno: nothing much. She actually helped me in dealing with that Chrono when he tried to frame during her show.

RF: ah...how?

Yuno: do you really wish to find out?

RF: on the second thought, no thanks. I'm starting to hate it when other people have god-like skills.

Arf: don't you have one?

RF: I only have instant movements. Useless in this interview show.

Arf: oh. I...see.

Yuno: nope! It's pretty useful.

RF: in case you are wondering, interviewers don't run away from their shows unless the situation is beyond bad.

Yuno: spoilsport!

RF: let's ignore that pile of fur. On-

Cameraman: fool! We are almost out of time.

RF: this last question will do. Anyway, the last question, directly from me. "If there is a younger and an older Fate in front of you, who will you choose?"

Arf: that's obvious, both!

RF: why?

Arf: simple. The younger Fate is cute and the older Fate is hot!

RF: that's all?

Arf: yes, that's all.

RF: alright then, this concludes our show for to-

_The audiences flock the stage and surround Arf. RF is....hey! Where's that moron? Something is wrong! The cameraman whipped out his cell phone and dials a number. Wonder who is he calling?_

Cameraman: hello? Is this Fate speaking?.....yes, there is a slight problem now, Arf is being trapped by her fans.....yeah, the situation is not very good....it will definitely help if you come here now.....okay then, see you.

Arf: Ah! S-stop that! A-ah! Hey! N-not there! H-help! Fate!

_Seconds later, one side of the studio breaks down under a huge impact. Some of the boulders land on half of the poor audiences trying to gro-ahem!-shake hands with Arf. The dust settles and in steps a beautiful blonde holding a scythe and is donned in a black barrier jacket. Fate! It's Fate! Those who value your life! Run for it!_

Fate: who's giving problem to my Arf?

Croaked voice: Fate...Ugh!...you...are...standing...on...me!!

_Fate looks down to see that she was standing on RF. Good thing RF is facing down. I can't imagine the pain if he's facing up with Fate standing on his...ahem!_

Fate: what are you doing here?

RF: never...mind...that, but...please...get...off...me.

Fate: fine, I've to exercise a little to work off my stress.

_Fate jumps off RF and goes on with her slaughtering spree. RF gets up, dusts himself, and pops a few of his joints. He turns to the crowd and finds Fate hacking everyone within her range with her deadly scythe, a.k.a Bardiche, while laughing maniacally._

RF: okay, let's not bother her with her way of releasing her stress. As I was saying, this concludes our show today, on the next episode, we will be interviewing the one and only adopted daughter of Nanoha Takamachi and our Fate T. Harlaown. Vivio T. Takamachi.

_RF turns back to find Fate stomping the last audience on his most private area, with Arf desperately trying to stop her master. I pity the poor guy. How is he going to live on after that?_

Cameraman: I'm so not going to piss her off.

RF: you took the words right out of my mouth.

Cameraman: what about the wall?

RF: we are going outdoors if this goes on...

Cameraman: ah.....

* * *

Author's ranting: Interview Madness, in the air! Questions are free to come in, that's all I have to say. This is RetardedFool, signing off.


	3. Interview III

**Note to be taken:** I've said it twice and I will say it again, this is inspired by Black Tornado.

Disclaimer: Let's leave it as it is, I don't want to get slaughtered by the White Devil.....yet!

_**Interview 3**_

RF: Welcome again to our mind-wrecking show of Interview Madness, I'm you host and the middleman of questions bombardment, RF.

_Several spotlights blared onto RF. RF winced a little before slowly bringing his titanium clipboard up to shield his face from the bright light._

RF: hey! Isn't it a little too bright here?

_The spotlights turned off, saving for a dull one._

RF: ok, that's better.

_A pie flew and hit RF's squarely in the face. What's with the audiences and them throwing cream pie at RF?_

RF: -wipes cream pie stains off his face- I thank you for the pie. We are sorry for not up for the show last week. The stage had to be rebuilt from scratch as the last attack from both Nanoha and Fate almost obliterated it along with me. Everything went behind schedule. Well then, let's keep this aside, let us welcome our guest.

_The drummer wrapped in the head with a bandage and wearing a construction helmet was sitting behind the drum set surrounded by wired fence, drumming away._

RF: She is a mysterious child whom was found with a relic and rescued by Caro and Erio in Nanoha Strikers. Nanoha and Fate had adopted her in as their own. She has had survived the pain of having a Relic forced into her, and numerous amount of Starlight Breakers and Trident Smashers from both her moms during her...trainings to become stronger.

_The drummer go rolling a drum when a brick flies to his direction and hit the fence surrounding him. The drummer laughs and shows his middle finger at audience who threw brick at him. A large piece of ice in the shape of an anvil falls from the ceiling and lands on the drummer. Ok people, there's nothing to see here. Everybody, nothing has happened at all._

RF: Let us give a big round of applause to welcome our guest.

_The audiences applauded loudly, way too loudly for comfort. It seems that what happened during Interview Hell had pretty much kept them on their toes._

RF: Vivio T. Takamachi!

_Two spotlights appeared at the grand door for the guests opens and a thirteen years old Vivio, decked out in the blue and white Division Six's uniform, walks out and waves at the audiences, who literally went wild, before placing herself onto the seat in front of the small coffee table, opposite of RF. The lights turn on the instance Vivio is seated._

Vivio: RF, it's a pleasure to see that one of our questioners to invite us in an interview show.

RF: I'm more than happy to know that you have accepted the invitation. How's BT?

Vivio: oh, he's fine, though he's still very unhappy about the incident that happened before and after his interview.

RF: well, no one will be happy to be used as an experiment tool.

Vivio: I agree with you.

_Vivio smiled cutely. Oh! I think I'm going to fall in love with her._

RF: in your dream. She's taken.

_Don't be such a mood spoiler!_

RF: let's not care about that idiot. Anyway, this is the first question from our currently one and only questioner of the show, AquaKaede, hope you are able to answer them well.

Vivio: sure.

RF: ok, here goes the first question, "what is your first thought when you first meet your mama family at earth? (Nanoha of course)". Hmm, interesting.

Vivio: hmm, how should I start?

RF: start with your uncle and aunt.

Vivio: They are very kind to me, and uncle Kyoya and aunt Miyuki always keep me occupied. Sometimes, aunt Miyuki will hug me and start drooling on me while uncle Kyoya's face will go red, and keep swallowing something in his mouth.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at Nanoha's home._

Nanoha: Oni-chan, onee-chan, come out come out wherever you are~.

Kyoya: it's a misunderstanding, Nanoha. We are not thinking of anything bad.

Miyuki: yeah, we were just playing with our cute niece.

Nanoha: how about we play too? It has been a long time since we last played.

* * *

_RF felt the ground shaking followed be screaming and pleas of mercy. RF tries to ignore them._

RF: o...kay. How about your grandparents?

Vivio: grandpa is a hard-working person. Whenever there's a customer, he will never fail to treat that customer with utmost care.

RF: really?

Vivio: Yes, I remember one time when a customer ran into the store with a machine-gun. Grandpa immediately used a baking pan to smack the guy silly before throwing him out through the exit door. He even smiled and said, "Thank you, and please come again."

RF: I...see.

Vivio: grandma is a great cook. I love her food and drinks, especially her cakes and tea.

RF: oh? Maybe I should stop by to have get some of them.

Vivio: I'll be sure to reserve a seat for you.

RF: why thank you. Okay then, are you ready for the next question?

Vivio: sure.

RF: ok, here goes, "rumour stated your usual practise with Nanoha is similar to the Spartan training in ancient Rome. Ouch! is that true?"

_Vivio stiffens at the mentioning of 'usual practice'. She starts cuddling herself and shivering really hard. Something must have happened during her training._

RF: er...Vivio? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

_Vivio continues to shiver on the chair._

RF: Vivio? Vivio, are you alright?

_Vivio continue shivering in her place, mumbling something about death right beyond the door._

RF: er...Vivio?

Vivio:....

RF: Vivio....

Vivio:......

_RF goes to Vivio and shakes her. No respond. He nears Vivio's ear and took in a deep breath..._

RF: VIVIO!!

Vivio: Wah! What? What happened?

RF: are you alright?

Vivio: ye-yeah! I just spaced out.

RF: the training must be really tough.

Vivio: tough is an understatement!

_Tears begin to form at the corners of Vivio's eyes._

RF: o-okay! I get it! Please! Don't cry!

* * *

_Somewhere in Mid-childa..._

Fate: He's going to get it! He's going to get it for making Vivio cry!

Shamal: Maa, maa. Why don't we wait for Nanoha-chan to come back.

Fate: Oh ho~. So that you can have a threesome with us?

Shamal: Not really, I already have my Signum-chan~.

Signum: Sha- Shamal!

Shamal: Ara~. Sig-chan has been eavesdropping on us.

Signum: No! That's n-mph!

_Sorry kids, we will have to censor this out for the sake of the children's healthy minds.

* * *

_

_RF hears sound of kissings and is followed by many different strange sounds._

RF: I'm hearing things again. Never mind that. Let's go on to the next question.

Vivio: er....will it be the same as the previous one?

RF: don't worry, it won't be that bad.

Vivio: o-okay.

RF: here's the question, "Which one scary: 1) Your moms in over possessive, jealous mode OR 2) Your moms in hangover or snappy mode. AND please answer honestly."

Vivio: hmm....both are just as scary.....

RF: mind if I ask for the details?

Vivio: there were cases whereby Fate-mama was wooed by many men and women. They ended up being blasted by Nanoha-mama's Starlight Breaker.

RF: o...kay. Remind me never to hit on Fate.

Vivio: there were also a case when Nanoha-mama was ask by a guy for a date. In the end he never turned up for it. It was rumoured that he quitted his job soon after that and disappeared into thin air.

RF: I...see.

Vivio: I think that's pretty much why nobody had dared to date any of them since that incident.

RF: poor guy.

Vivio: as for mamas having a hangover and being in a snappy mode...

RF: bad...right?

Vivio: yes, very bad.

RF: what happened?

Vivio: there's one time when mamas get really drunk at a party. They had to be brought home by uncle Yunno.

RF: and Yunno that ferret did something to them?

Vivio: I don't think uncle Yunno did anything to them. But when mamas woke up the next morning, hell almost broke loose.

RF: they blasted everything?

Vivio: they took it out on the Forwards.

RF: oh, I see-WHAT?

Vivio: they forcefully ordered the Forwards back from their post and started to plummet them with magic blasts.

RF: poor them. Did you get dragged into it as well?

Vivio: no, Arf-san and uncle Yunno hid me from them.

RF: I see....

Vivio: but soon Nanoha-mama found me and...started...to train...me...real.....

_Vivio curls herself up, cuddles her knees and starts shivering really badly._

RF: okay, okay. Let's not be reminded about the trainings, shall we?

Vivio: o-okay.

RF: and may I ask the last question of the day?

Vivio: sure, go on.

RF: the question will be, "who do you like the most?"

Vivio: come a little closer please, I don't really want the audience to find out.

RF: oh, okay.

_RF put his ear near Vivio's mouth. Vivio whispers something and RF's eyes widen._

RF: oh~! I see.

Audience: who is the lucky person? Who did she mention?

RF: it's confidential. Purely confidential.

_Suddenly, a bearded man flew from the audiences towards Vivio._

Bearded man: Vivio-chan~! I love you~! Please tell me who you like!

RF: DAMN YOU!

_RF swings his titanium clipboard and hit the man in the head, changing his flight course straight towards the floor. Vivio scramble from the chair and hide behind RF._

RF: Vivio, go to somewhere safe.

Vivio: r-right!

_Before Vivio turn to run away, a large group of girls surround them. Wait! There are only girls? Where are the guys?_

RF: Gah! I can't hit girls! Where are the guys so I can hit them!

_RF turns to the audience seats and found that all the guys were gone._

Large group of girls: Vivio-chan! Come with us!

Vivio: Ah! Help!

_Vivio was half-dragged, half-carried by the female audience. And RF-....where the hell is that idiot when we need him and his clipboard?!_

Vivio: Kyah! Help me! RF! MAMA!

Voice: VIVIO!

_A pink blast skewered several audience, narrowly missing Vivio's legs. Nanoha jumped through the hole that she created with Raising Heart._

Vivio: Nanoha-mama!

Nanoha: Vivio, don't worry!I'll save you!

_Nanoha blasted the rest of the audiences who are holding tight onto Vivio, miraculously missing the captive. Vivio landed onto the ground and rushed to Nanoha._

Vivio: Nanoha-mama!

Nanoha: don't cry, my dear, don't cry. By the way, where's RF?

Muffled voice: I'm here.

_A hand poked out from under a large pile of concretes and rubble and starts waving lazily._

Nanoha: oh! You are still alive, I was hoping that you died from my blast.

RF: no thanks, I don't think that I have such a privilege to enjoy it.

_The hand continue to wave lazily. Oi! Are you planning to take that pile of dust as your home?_

RF: Well then, that concludes for today's interview, the next show I'll be interviewing Caro, and I already had an interesting question for her in mind. So, have a nice day everyone, and don't go killing yourselves by provoking either Nanoha or Fate.

Cameraman: what should we do about the studio?

RF: leave it! We are going outdoors.....

_RF is soon dug out from the pile of ruins. He pokes his head through the large hole made by Nanoha and saw the White Devil was having a great time as mother and daughter, with her daughter, blasting away at anyone who dares to ogle at any of them. Speaking about caring for one's family._

RF: you got that right commentator. Anyway, let's go prepare for the outdoor excursion we will be going.

Cameraman: I want to be in the air-conditioned room! Not out in the crazy weather.

_Nobody cares about you, cameraman._

Cameraman: shut it!

* * *

Author's ranting: Interview Madness, in the air! May the madness be with you! Questions are free to come in, that's all I have to say, again. This is RetardedFool, signing off.


End file.
